Infuckinflation

In another life inflation was a major measurement to me. Every decision revolved around world economics and trends and we would spend the day watching GDPs, current account deficits, commodity prices, interest rates, bond movements and other such meaningless stuff.

During that time, I had the pleasure of working with one of the finest economists who had more letters after his name than I have ever seen and had the distinction of not being a fuckwit like many other people with letters after their names! He was that rare breed of smart people that can actually apply their smarts to solve shit. He had a PhD in econometrics and during the years that we sat next to each other I absorbed a lot about the dark art of having two hands and not being afraid to use them both at the same time (this is an economist joke, and about as funny as they get sadly; I would explain but it would be even less funny.)

Having spent all those years pouring over data and making decisions that you could justify were the rights ones at the time you made them (and why they were wrong the next day) I now cannot help but read a newspaper and apply economics to stories. Whether it is the price of petrol (supply and demand of the raw commodity, oil, mixed with distribution and taxes) or a sale at Pumpkin Patch (goods manufactured in China and brought to NZ with some level of currency hedge to protect the retailer) right down to cheap LCD TVs (over manufacture leading to glut of stock that need to be shifted fast before it becomes obsolete) I simply cannot help it.

Inflation is a really easy concept. It is simply a measurement between the price of a basket of goods that you bought a wee while ago and the price of the same basket now. Goods tend to go up and so the value of your dollar appears to buy less hence the old, "When I was a lad, I could buy a bag of chips, a small house and three horses and still have change from a dollar..." kind of talk.

Some things go up more than inflation and some less. Today, a particular commodity that is a huge part of Wellington life went through the roof. I'm taking about coffee of course. The establishment that supplies the daily dose for me and a whole bunch of the guys and girls around me, shifted the price of the black nectar from $3.50 to $4.50 for a takeaway - that is a massive 28.5% and has broken through my personal tipping point. As a result, we have had to source a new cafe and the jury is still out. Either way, at nearly $5 a cup, it just seems like a luxury item and not a daily need.

The economics here are pretty simple but the decision to hike the price so much is a bit flawed. Put up the price by 28% and you can still lose customers and make more money is the argument. The price hike is probably linked to wage pressures, rental increases, raw goods costs and a bit of greed thrown in for good measure. The flaw is in how many customers can you afford to lose before your staff are standing around idle for long periods or you have a large stock of beans that are approaching their best before date. It is a very fine line between profit and loss and if you lose a solid customer base, it will cost you more to acquire new ones. This is particularly true in Welly where some of the smaller cafes, just off the beaten track, are making primo coffee at reasonable prices. We are a fickle bunch us coffee snobs and whilst we are addicts, we can choose who our dealer is.

Perhaps they are using Kopi Luwak beans? These particular beans sell for up to US$175 a pound and get the unique taste and aroma from the simple fact that they pass through the arse of the Palm Civet, a native of Indonesia. The little beasties eat the ripe coffee cherries and the beans are collected from the droppings. Don't believe me? Check out this site for some pretty graphic images of the process - it explains why some coffee actually tastes like shit.....

Lurking

Whilst I have been posting sporadically over the last two months, I have still been reading all the blogs in my "links" list and although I haven't commented, I have been lurking and enjoying your blogs.

It had also been some time since I had been into my StatCounter so I decided to have a peruse this morning. It is a good insight into the search work and I am pleased to announce that the searches for "Hooters Feet" is slipping down the charts but "Hooters Pantyhose" is still firmly in place at #1 by a massive margin. It strikes me that you could dress up a chicken in pantyhose and people (exclusively from the US according to the analysis) would get-off on it.

Disturbing recent searches are:

Very young in pantyhose
- It is the word "very" that lends a creepyness to this search.

Mr Pantyhose
- An unfortunate surname; might I suggest a hyphen?

Pantyhose butt action
- I'm not sure what sort of action a butt would get up to or why it would be more fun in pantyhose.

Pantyhose sex
- Surely they are the ultimate protection.

How to make your sack bigger
- Why? Maybe you have large potatoes I guess....

Pantyhose sex ideas
- Yeah, here's one: Put them over your head for that bank robber fantasy session....

Smells of nylon feet
- How the hell did you ever get to this site when the #1 Google entry is "smell-my-feet.com"?

Remove nipple hair safely
- At least is wasn't remove nipple hair unsafely; for that I would suggest a flymo

Why men love hooters
- If you have to ask, you are clearly a butt man

The Yummy Mummy Handbook
- A best seller I imagine. Hopefully a cookbook....

8 legged freaks

I like to think that I'm a bit blokey; I am a bloke after all. Admittedly, I have done some things in my life that some (who shall remain nameless but sit very close to me at work, but would never read a blog so I could name him...) feel is a bit on the less blokey side shall we say. I played Badminton at a high level until a few years back, I drive what is considered to be a gay icon car, I use wax in my hair and, God forbid, have been heard talking about bodices. Not very manly at all; I guess I'll never be a true Kiwi bloke....

However, there is one thing that turns me into a gibbering wuss and I don't care. Call me a baby, kick sand in my face, give me a Chinese burn, I don't care. If it makes me less a bloke then kiss my little girls arse (damn that'll get some Google hits!). Sadly, it appears that the subject of my fear is a specialist subject of Alans.

When we first moved to NZ, I was assured that there was only one poisonous spider that lived on beaches and was very rare. I have no idea if this is true so facts would be nice, anyone? Little did I know that there is a freakin' house dwelling version that appears as common as net curtains in Essex (very common to those of you who have not been there). Not only is it common, it does have a nasty bite. How nasty appears to be up for discussion but I would quite like to know. All I am told is "it's not fatal" but that doesn't reassure me much as there are plenty of things in life that are not fatal and that still bloody hurt i.e. it's OK the bullet went right through you and damn that shark, at least you have another arm.

My fear appears to have grown over the last years. It all stems back to some bad experiences as a child in Africa but they had been largely forgotten until several years back when something must have triggered them. I have never been fond of the critters but now I get a bit on the cold and sweaty side when confronted. Ms R regularly shouts out "Look Daddy, a baby Charlotte" but no sooner do I hear those words, I start looking for the nearest shoe/newspaper/book/brick. This usually ends in tears as she is a fan of the species and their complete destruction is out of keeping with her thrill at finding one.

To say I give them a wee tap would be a bit of an understatement in much the same way as saying that "That Jerry Collins, he's a bit hard he is". The house shudders when I nail one of the fckrz. I don't whack it so much as obliterate it. If Garfield could see me, he'd be so proud. And this was before I realised that the little bugger could actually fight back.

I am assured by Alan that the little jumping things with the bloody long front legs (that they would use to prise open my ear canal and enter my brain) are completely harmless. I say, you can't be too careful and if you have to get that close to look, you are opening yourself up to some trouble. I say whack now and ask later....I don't want to wound it and piss it off.

Oh, hey a spider.
WHACK WHACK WHACK WHACK
Did it jump?
Which bit?

Stegosaurus - Little Ms R (Aged 4 and a bit)

Stegosaurus - Little Ms R (Aged 4 and a bit)
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

Not one to brag, but that girl is an artistic genius! If she says that the mighty Stegosaurus had 6 legs, then 6 legs is what it had. I have added a picture of what "scientist" think it looked like. I think you'll agree, 6 legs is better - what do they know? Ever seen one? Nah, didn't think so but apparently the one that lives in the garden looks just like this one so there.

The A to Z of my last two weeks

Ms R, ready to go!
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

A is for Axim
It was my birthday and I got a cool Dell Axim X51v - I downloaded Episode 8 of the second series of LOST onto it and it is damn fine (we have just watched Episode 11 and it was a real corker! Bless the Gods of Torrent and those lovely people at iHug for the 2mbps line)

B is for Blog
I have ignored this blog for 2 weeks and feel oddly guilty. This entry should help and I have loaded a pile of photos onto Flickr to those interested enough to click through.

C is for Canoe
Spent lots of time in one on the beautiful Appleby River outside Richmond with the whole family. Massively impressed with the natural affinity with water that Ms R and Little Ms R have - I have no skills at all and swim like a wounded Iguana, however that is.

D is for Driving
The 2 hour stint behind the wheel from Picton to Nelson was made easier by the use of a portable DVD player with two screens which kept the noisy backseat monsters amused.

E is for Eel
If you catch one, don't try and take it off your line as they are revoltingly slimy and will wrap around your arm and make you feel like a Ghostbuster.....

F is for Four by Four
This was needed to access the river for the canoeing. Great fun - we noticed on our second visit that someone else had decided to use the facilities but had got stuck. The rising water was over the bonnet when we got there and over the roof when we left....F is also for f*cked it appears.

G is for Garden
Installed a wizzy irrigation system into our garden so that my poor plants might actually stand a chance this year.

H is for Hell
Definition of Hell: Deck 2, Kaitaki Children’s Play Area. Visit at your peril as every disease known lives down there and a few yet to be named.

I is for Island
Snorkeling around the many bays and islands in the Marlborough Sounds surrounded by seals in water as warm as a bath was a fabulous experience. Picking up Kina to use as bait for Herring was a blast. Do people really eat that snot?

J is for Joy
Catching a big fish and letting it go back along is way is a good feeling. Not as good as sticking a sharp knife into it’s head, pulling out it’s guts and then throwing it onto a BBQ with a bit of lemon mind you.

K is for Kaitaki
A big boat with food at prices to rival Harrods. Don't by the Hot Chocolate unless you enjoy eating with a spoon - if you do, go for it but if you can eat it all, you will have a suger rush akin to four Cokes skulled with a Mars Bar or two to line your stomach.

L is for Lambretta
Still the funkiest café in Nelson. Great coffee and good for kids.

M is for My TradeMe
Wherever you go, you can bid and when you get home it is like Christmas with every parcel like a mini surprise.

N is for Nelson
Damn fine living, if you can afford it.

O is Oasis
A new café by the river in Nelson. Nice food and reasonable coffee that would be tastier I’m sure if the staff smiled a bit.

P is for playground
The Lions Playground at Tahunanui is right on the beach and tires even the most boisterous of kids. Mr Whippy on hand adds to the experience.

Q is for Quiet
There is nothing like the sound of running water and wind without and cars or industrial din. I have mastered the art of filtering out the screaming of small children, an accomplishment that is not recognised as useful by Mrs R.

S is for Sunburn
How easily I forget how harsh the sun in NZ can be. I never ever let the kids out without sun screen on yet continue for forget myself. Not bright or clever.

T is for Treat
Try the Chateaubriand at Appelmans Restaurant in Richmond for a treat for two. Mrs R and I first had this dish back in 1994 when the restaurant was in Nelson - we had it the night we got engaged and have been back nearly every year. You will never get bored of this dish.

U is for Umbrella
Needed twice. Not a device that can be used in Wellington, so a novelty for us.

V is for Victory
England beat Wales (sorry Mike) but actually I don't really care as I am now a true AB fan. I will be going for my citizenship this year and will learn to pronounce yoghurt in a strange way and no longer worry when people ask if I have new pants.

W is for Wanker
Paul Hewitt, Failed Developer and arsehole, has had his house sold at a mortgage sale to repay his debts I guess. I feel very sorry for his family but the guy ripped off many people along the way so fuck 'im. I only know this from an anonymous comment posting on an earlier entry so thank you whoever you are and I hope that you were able to recover from whatever losses you suffered at the hands of this jerk.

X is for X-Rated
Beware of sickly white pommy legs on a rare outing into shorts....not for those of a weak disposition.

Z is for Zoo
Not a lot beats Eva Dicksons at the zoo for a pre or post visit snack.

And there you have it. A great 10-days and now I need a holiday.....

SoMuchToTellSoLittleTime.....

Phew, what a hectic couple of weeks. It all stops soon though. One more manic week at work and then off to Nelson for a well earned break.

The important news is I've popped my TradeMe cherry and have a massive 4 stars now. We have bought and sold and, by eck, it is bloody addictive. Mrs R and I have been sitting counting down the end of auctions, pressing refresh and high fiving wins and cursing the losses.

Other news is we are more hooked on Season 2 of Lost than we were on Season 1. I downloaded Episode 1 a few weeks ago and we watched it at 11:30pm one night once we had sat down after a particularly long day. The conversation went something like this:

"Cuppa Tea?"
"Yeah, tar."
"Shall we watch 5 minutes of Lost and then head off to bed?"
"Yup."....45 minutes later.
"Shall I download Episode 2?"....

At the time we were on Telecoms "wanker" plan with only 1Gb of up/downloads. This was used up by 3rd January as sadly when using Bit Torrent, you upload, it seems, about half of what you download. We are now on the 10Gb plan but only for two weeks until we flip Telecom the middle digit and jump over to iHug and a whole 20Gb with no upload counter. Nice. We have just watched Episode 5 and number 6 is torrenting as I type...77.6% complete, yippee, but mighty close to the 10Gb limit.

Other news: It is my birthday in 10 days time and Mrs R and the girls have bought me a rather sexy Dell Axim X51v. It is in a box by the bed and whilst I have held it in my sticky little mits, I haven't plugged it in. Mrs R tells me that as the children have to wait for their presents, so do I. In a moment of weakness she did say that as I wasn't a child any more, I could open it if I wanted but deep down I know that I am a child, so I will wait. It'll be fun watching Lost on it in beautiful 640x480 via an Intel 2700G multimedia accelerator chip - it is nearly as good as the amazing PSP in picture quality. It has a bluetooth (for the cool folding keyboard which is a work of art) and built in wireless for browsing (using Cafe Net) whilst I wait for a coffee at the excellent Espresso Republic.

My plans for Nelson include fishing for Snapper, snorkeling and having breakfast at the bloody marvellous Lambretta Cafe. The kids will be entertained by my lovely in-laws who are bolting down everything as we speak.....down time time with Mrs R will be great. We can snuggle up under the duvet and watch Lost together...I heard that Episode 8 is the best one yet.....

Oh, my head.

In honour of the end of the Christmas drinking season, some things that are difficult to say when drunk:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

But sometimes you drink more than you should so a list of things that are very difficult to say when drunk:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

And then there are the times when you are simply shitfaced, so a list of things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
2. Nope, no more booze for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. No kebab for me, thank you.
5. Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. I'm not interested in fighting you.
7. Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
9. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
11. Look, it would be great to have a shag but I hardly know you and we will only feel really embarrassed and awkward in the morning.
12. That guy is looking at my girlfriend but I am sure its just because he knows her or something.
13. That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.
14. I must get to my bed as I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge.
15. I honestly don't think the rest of the city center wants to see my bare arse.
16. No..you are not my bestest mate in the whole world. I've only known you for a few hours.
17. I'm sure those young women are extremely intelligent and have wonderful personalities.
18. Im sure my feet would be damaged for life if I take my shoes off and walk all the way home.
19. A creamy cocktail followed by 4 shots of tequila....surely that would be no good for my insides.
20. Me? go for a pee in the mens room because the ladies queue is too long? I don't think so.
21. I'll just have a big glass of water before I go to bed so I don't have a hangover in the morning.

Thanks you my pals, fang and eezie.

Santa sure has a big Sack...

Miss R in mid air
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

Damn it is nice to get something right and full credit, once again, goes to Mrs R. A few months back she suggested we get a trampoline for Christmas for the girls and I nodded and moved on. Little did I know she had this baby in mind and she is a beaut.

It arrived in three boxes and was delivered by two big dudes who had muscles on their muscles. It took some serious work to move the boxes to their hiding place under the house until Christmas Eve. One box in particular was almost impossible to move and we resorted to dragging it down the steps, puny little white guy that I am.

Once the kids were in bed on the night before Christmas, I sneaked down to the workshop under the house and, piece by piece, emptied the contents of the boxes and took them individually up to the garden. I expected this construction to be a bastard to be honest but was pleasantly surprised as not only were there enough bolts to rebuild the F69, there were easy to follow instructions with, get this, clear diagrams and step by step stages which were in order. Big kudos to those clever people at Supertramps who had obviously written the instructions having actually tried to build their own product.

I won’t pretend it was easy as it did require some serious stamina and some strength to put each little carbon rod into each of the several thousand (so it felt) holes. But in the end, every single piece fitted, every part was the right shape and size and went into a hole of the same shape and size. I didn’t even have to get out my hammer, which usually appears whenever I am making anything – just a little stroke with “Old Smacker” gently teases even the most difficult bolt into place! But not this time; the whole thing took less than 1 ½ hrs by which time it was almost full dark. We were tired by triumphant and very excited for the next day.

At about 10:30am after Santa’s pressies had been opened and half destroyed, we announced that there was one more present outside and the kids ran for the back door at a pace. The bruises and scratches (when the instructions say “wear gloves” they do mean it!) were worth it as both girls’ faces lit up and they leapt into the air. Miss R was amazed at the behemoth sitting on the lawn having definitely not been there when she went to bed: “How did it get here, Daddy?”, she asked gobsmacked. I could have told the truth and told of the heroic battle of mind over matter with each little devilish rod but, hey, this is Christmas and that’s all part of the magic. Santa sure has a big sack….

Did the earth move for you, Darling?

Did the earth move for you, Darling?
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

I have lived here for over 3 years now and I will never, NEVER, get used to my house shaking. About 5 minutes ago [Tuesday, December 13 2005 at 9:09 pm NZ Time], whilst eating a very late dinner (having decided to put the kids to bed first and try and have a quiet meal for a change), a little shudder moved through our place, followed by a wee shunt and a grumble. Now Mrs R, who for many years lived and worked in Napier, does not even blink but carries on talking/eating/watching TV.

She once told me that unless something fell on her she didn't even bother getting out of bed in Napier. I am the opposite. I am not happy with the earth shaking. It isn't natural. Well it is, but you know what I mean. The earth is meant to be solid and people shouldn't live in places that aren't.

Welly is such a fine city but why did you have to build it on a fault line? I am told "it'll never happen" but we have a nice disaster kit with water and food just in case. It is safely stored in water tight boxes under the house.....hey, it just occurred to me that putting the emergency supplies underneath the thing that will fall on them should an emergency occur, isn't very smart - in fact about as smart as building a city on a fault line really. Still, it'll never happen, right? And the coffee here is too good to leave. She'll be alright. Right?

Merry Berry

November 2005 057
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

Mrs R and I have murdered many plants over the years. Whenever we moved house, someone would usually give us a plant as a new home present. After a few such moves, we arranged for a priest to be available to administer the last rights whenever anyone handed over a poor innocent shrub. We took some relief in the fact that they usually died a quick death; they didn't suffer the weeks of just hanging on in dry soil to then be drowned. They just gave up on entry to the kitchen window sill where so many had gone before then.

This has all changed now. I am at one with nature as I have a garden with veggies in it. This has been topped off by having a planter with some Strawberries ripening. Up until last week there were some lovely juicy red ones, just waiting to be picked. Alas they are gone, a very brave Blackbird had a feast and they were rather nice I assume from looking at the evidence.
I now have a net, but the little fella just wanders up to it and pecks through the holes. His bravery is witnessed by our two cats who can oversee the entire operation and offer advice from their comfy spot in the sun on the roof. It would take a small explosion to move them and they probably enjoy the live entertainment of me running across the room to shout and flap my arms about to scare the little bugger away.

There are plenty more berries just ripening so I need to find a solution. Any ideas?

Shave Your Lid for a Kid

Today was a fabulous day in Wellington. The sun was out and many, many people from all over this fine town turned up in Midland Park, next to the excellent coffee house of Astoria. Over 40 people had their bonces shaved by the rather attractive crew from Weltec and all for the Child Cancer Foundation and they stood in line, in the hot sun, patiently waiting their turn to do their bit for the kids and the families of kids suffering from cancer.

First in line was Ron Mark, the NZ First list MP. He doesn't have a lot of hair but his sacred tash is no more. There were many others, both men and women, who came for the chop and all went away shiny headed and proud.

I was lucky enough to spend some time with four really nice blokes who had come along to support the day and two of whom got scalped by their colleagues. They were good natured and relaxed and great fun to chat to. They were Ross Kennedy, John Schwalger, Tamati Ellison and Shannon Paku and they posed with kids, signed autographs and just sat around enjoying the sun. 2006 will be the year of the Hurricanes, no doubt.

2 1/2 hours later and it was all over. The last head was polished, the hair swept up, and scissors put away. I had a great coffee from Astoria and departed full of pride for the cool people of Wellington who had come together to support the community in which they live. Similar events were taking place in Christchurch, Nelson, Auckland and the NZ base in Antarctica. I'm sure they were all fantastic, but I know that Welly put on the greatest show.

I get knocked down but I get up again

If you didn't already know, I am a committee member of the Central Division of the Child Cancer Foundation (remember the Lexi campaign?). I am an anomaly there, as both of my girls are healthy and have never suffered from cancer, whereas most (but not all) of the other committee members have been through some terrible experiences and are giving back time and effort to helping others.

Some of the people I have met have lost children and some have children who will forever live with the scars of this terrible disease. Some are out the other side but all are affected forever. It has made me appreciate my family and life and has opened my eyes to the great courage of children and of the power of positive attitude. I have met some truly remarkable yet staggeringly normal people - I am not sure how I would live my life should one of my children ever become so ill but these people offer friendship and hope to families going through such horrors and they give of their time and experiences with no question.

I ended up on the committee through a willingness to help and through a friendship with a man who lost a daughter many many years ago. His openness and joy at remembering his daughters short but full life inspired me. He taught me that you shouldn't ignore death and pretend that a loved one never existed but to remember them often and with love and to cherish those memories. The pain never goes away but the recollections enable you to hang onto the good things and to celebrate that persons life. That is love.

There is a fund raising event at Midland Park this Thursday lunchtime (1st Dec). It is called FunRazor and involves people simply having their heads shaved for sponsorship. A small act yet it is a poignant link to the poor kids that enter the circus of chemo and drug treatments. I am not a supporter of street collections but it is a necessary part of any charity to get in the faces of the public - like any business, you have to be seen to survive and this charity is one that ranks highly on my list of worthwhile causes. I know where the money goes and how careful they are with it (I should 'cause I chair the Finance Sub-Committee where every penny is counted and accounted for) and I know first hand how the funds help others in so many ways.

We have a wonderful lady here called Marg who is the Family Support Councillor. She works incredibly hard and is always ready to give; she recently sent me this link to a blog called Shannons' Leg - he is a young guy here in Welly who is writing a blog about his leg, chemo and what is going on in his head as he battles. Have a read and say Hi. This guy's been knocked down, but not only is he up again, he's real pissed and he's fighting! That is life met full on and death has no place here.

Normal Service Will Resume Shortly

It is 10:00pm and I have just sat down with a cup of tea. I have been working flat out these last two weeks and I have just stopped for the night, ready for 7:00am tomorrow, when the circus of life begins again. I have neglected my family but things will be back to normal by next weekend. Mrs R and the Rlettes are off to Nelson this weekend for a nice break with the Grandparents and some guaranteed sunshine. They will have a nice break away from the terse and moody Mr R and they deserve a holiday.....

What is it about feet?

Ever since I posted that piece about Hooters coming to New Zealand, my web stats have gone crazy. I am constantly amazed by the things that people are looking for. Most of the searches are for "Hooters Outfits", but a close second is "Hooters Pantyhose". Weird, here are the rest of the top searches, in order:

hooters girls' feet - They must be very special tootsies
hooters girl feet - very
hooters girls pantyhose feet - very special
hooters girl pantyhose - tootsies
hooters birthday cake - nipple anyone?
pantyhose for hooters restaurant - would have to be a big pair to fit a whole restaurant
ms. hooters 2005 - Oh, the honour.
hooters employee of the month - You make your Daddy proud, Ricki-Lee. Who's your Daddy?
hooters employee handbook - Ah, a positive hit as the post was called this exact name
rate a hooter girl - why?
hooters, girl of the month march 2005 - Very specific, me thinks it was she that was searching
guys in hooters outfits - Ewww, don't try this at home kids
girls of hooters, showing pantyhose - OooKkkay.
do hooters girls take test - My favourite.

Some people are very specific in what they are after. I present the "I've just gotta know" list:

ballet tights slippers sex, how - what size slippers?
how many people work in the car salesman field - None of them, boom boom
silver spandex kylie minogue - Grrrrrr, yummy
pantyhose sex business - Is there one? Wow.
butt bunnies - Watership Down?
how to get your wife to wear pantyhose - Try asking, pal.
what makes a sewage smell come out of your drains - I believe, and I could be wrong but stay with me, that it is the sewage, down your drains
daisy dukes with pantyhose - Good idea, might try this one myself
sex sells defense - Really?

I expect this list will only add fuel to the fire!

My kingdom for a chair...

Found it! At last, after much searching I have found the perfect chair. There were a few false starts, and a lot of polite "no thanks" as many different sales people tried to steer me into their idea of the perfect chair, but today, Eureka.

A work colleague suggest 5thAvenue but I looked on-line and couldn't see anything that did it for me. Nonetheless, she is famous for her ability to shop and pick style (ask alan, who was introduced to this by the same person) and so I ventured in and there it was.

There are many things you want from a chair. Comfort is of course one, but you don't want to sacrifice style for the sake of softness. The trick is finding both - I sat in many chairs that looked great but just didn't cut it in the butt hugging stakes. I tried loungers, big armchairs, sofas, strange hybrid chair bed things, but nothing had captivated me. Yet here in front of me was a range of stunning looking loungers but the big question was would they be as comfortable as they looked?

I tried the first one. Nice.

I tried the second one. Oooh baby.

I tried the third one. Hallelujah, I heard angels as my butt was hugged by quality leather (not something that happens everyday.....) The Stressless range from Ekornes - those clever Norwegians - the Mayfair or Dream chairs, nice.

The downside? A price tag of over $3,500.....Still you only live once and so my Trademe account is about to pop its cherry. Roll-up roll-up, one kidney for sale, hardly used.....

Oooh, Ahhhhhh

November 2005 125
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

What a great night we had. The main fireworks were great but what made it for us was the hundreds of mini-displays all over the waterfront from Te Papa right around to the point. The whole of Mount Vic was ablaze and it was impossible to know where the next barrage was going to be.

The highlight of the night? It has to be the dozens of boats that raced across the calm waters of the harbour once everything was over. It was full dark again and all that you could see were the navigation lights as they powered their way from Welly across to Eastbourne or Petone.

Dial-up Hell

When I first got Broadband I was using about 300mb a month - I chose the Telecom "Everyday" plan which gave me 1Gb per month with a download speed of 1mbs and 192kbs upload. If I went over the 1Gig I got bombed back down to the sluggish dial-up speed of 64kbs for the rest of the month.

I never thought that I'd use so much and, what the heck, there was no charge if I did. Little did I know that there is no pain quite like hitting that limit wall and sliding bleeding back into dial-up hell. Waiting for pages to load with monotonous slowness with the images even t u a l l y l o a d i n g. Actually in ain't that slow but damn it is annoying.

The cause of my angst was the introduction by alan to Flickr and using the wonderous Frogprints to print the most impressive 7x5 matt pictures. Before long I was up to 750Mb and then over the 1Gb for the last two months in a row....and I still have so much to find...and 3 hours until the 1st of the month and back to 1mbs......arrrgggg

From what I read, Telecom are one of the few broadband providers in the world that put a cap on usage. Twats. At the time I signed-up there was no real competition and the fact that they control the services still strangles competition. I got a free D-Link modem from Telecom and a contract for 12 months at $44 per month and they stung me for an installation fee of $100 (as we have an alarm system that apparently interferes with broadband...yeah right).

However, I notice that iHug have got a lovely new offer. They do a 2mbs connection with 20Gb off-peak plus 20Gb on-peak and (this is the best bit) uploads don't count to your totals. This means that I could actually drop down to their 1Gb plus 1Gb offer as it is my uploads that suck up my allowance. I'd have to be downloading movies or something to need the 20+20Gb but now I'm thinking of bit torrent and the next season of Lost...........and the pretty cool Threshold that an unnamed source has been pulling down for me....

When my 12 months expires, I am outta here and jumping to iHug. I notice from my web site stats that nobody uses iHug that comes here. If you are an iHug user and you're just stopping by, any feedback on their service would be appreciated. My stats also tell me that there are a lot (and I mean a lot) of people looking for pictures of Hooters Girls in Pantyhose and Hooters Girls Feet. I hope you find them but you won't find them here. To the person looking for "Do Hooters Girls take tests?", you are overqualified.

Happy Halloween!

Witch
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

Not my picture but it is doing the e-mail rounds today. Made me laugh at any rate.

Fresh Veggies

October 2005 022
Originally uploaded by Mr Reasonable.

Having never grown anything in my life, I decided this year to get back to nature and plant a veggy garden. By the time we moved into this house, this area was a jungle and after many many hours of digging and pulling, I planted beans, broccoli, spinach, lettuce and potatoes. I also planted carrots but they have vanished - I think I may have planted the seeds a bit deep - maybe they'll come up next year!

I have rebelled against the organic style of growing and have used every chemical known to man to eradicate every creepy crawly for 3 miles. They hear me open the shed and scamper away before I napalm the area. Get your little teeth away from my broccoli, squirt.....

Ms R was with me when I bought the slug pellets.

"What are they for Daddy?"

Wanting to shield her from the whole death conversation thing I said "it's food for the slugs so they won't eat our veggies."

"Will they die?" she said looking horrified.

"Errrr, yes" caught out.

"Good" looking happy.

At least she likes spiders or Baby Charlottes as she calls them. Slugs and snails are fair game though and rightly so!

Lazy Boy Credit

People that know me know that I worry out economics and the associated evils of easy credit and consumer debt. I don't worry about it for me 'cause I like to think that I can balance my income and expenditure - this doesn't stop me wanting gadgets and occasionally pushing the boundaries or indeed using interest free credit whenever and wherever I can. In fact, you'd be real dumb not to, so long as you have the cash right now to pay for the goods. I actually worry about people who are misled and almost "tricked" into easy credit because they are the ones who can least afford it and have the most to lose.

If you buy something today that you cannot afford, and you rely on the interest free period to save up for the item, then you cannot really afford it and the chances are you will end up paying interest. You are a finance companies' best friend and you are in the trap. The logic is good but there is no free lunch. If you are happy with this arrangement, then go for it but do the math and check the amount you are gonna pay at the end. If you don't like the numbers, save up your pennies and do what our parents did...wait until you have the dosh.

If you can't afford it now, you can't afford it. Your lucky numbers will not come up. The promotion isn't just around the corner. That wealthy elderly relative who is 97 isn't popping her clogs anytime soon, believe me she is going into the Guinness Book of Records in 20 years time and only then because she fell off a ladder cleaning her windows.

Long term readers of this blog know my story and how much I hate scams and crooks. It is real easy to get done and there are many ways. You think you are smart and it won't happen to you but in reality, sometimes you close your eyes to the truth as you so want to believe in the fairytale ending. If you go into debt for that little thing you just gotta have, don't believe the salesman, he isn't your friend. An example from yesterday:

Me to Mrs R "I really want a Lazy Boy, I just gotta have one, Leather, Mocha Colour, Rocks backwards, footrest - I'm happy to forgo the fridge and vibration thing. I just want MY OWN Chair."

Mrs R "OK. Labour Day sale at Harvey Norman?".

30 minutes or so later

Me to Mrs R "This is the one. Soft enough for me to sink into, yet big enough for me to see the TV with Ms R on one side and Little Ms R on the other". A fact proven by the trial of this arrangement which must have looked interesting to passers by.

Salesman "Nice leather set this. Big 3 seater and 2 Lazy Boys. Reduced from $6,199 to $4,999".

Mrs R "We just want the one Lazy Boy, how much would that be?".

Salesman "Oh. It is on special for the whole package. If you want just the one chair it'd be over $2,500. Its cheaper to buy the whole set."

Me "?"

Mrs R "You can't sell just the one chair?"

Salesman (avoiding the question) "You could buy the whole lot on Interest Free Credit and then sell the sofa and spare chair on Trademe dot com" - never trust anyone in New Zealand who doesn't know that Trademe is a "dot co dot nz" domain - you are either living in a bubble or stupid and do not know to zip up your trousers after you pee. Harsh but fair.

Me "?"

Mrs R "Really?"

Salesman "Oh yeah. I had a friend who bought one like this and he sold it for over $600 on Trademe".

Mrs R "Oh."

Me "?#*$^&% kidding me. NO."

And we left. Now, there is nothing really wrong with this. Actually, it was a nice set but we have 2 lovely two seaters and the point is I just want a cool Lazy Boy. My issue is that there I am with two small children and without knowing anything about me or my finances, this salesman just dangled a carrot with a, when you think about it, ridiculous idea.

I'd pay $4,999 and then try to sell two "second had, as new" items on Trademe with buyer collects. Maybe I'd get $1,000 for the spare seat and sofa, maybe I wouldn't. Either way I'd have a debt of $4,999 and even if I got my $1,000 maybe I could use that cash to buy something else. After all, the debt is interest free, nothing to pay for a few years and by then I'd have the cash, right? Right?

Think I'll follow the Trademe Queen and enter MarthaWorld™. Flog off my genuine second hand hand stuff and just buy what I want with cash......but not from Harvey Norman. Anyone know where I can buy just one Mocha, soft, big leather Lazy Boy at a great price?