Friday, January 06, 2006

Oh, my head.

In honour of the end of the Christmas drinking season, some things that are difficult to say when drunk:
  1. Innovative
  2. Preliminary
  3. Proliferation
  4. Cinnamon

But sometimes you drink more than you should so a list of things that are very difficult to say when drunk:

  1. Specificity
  2. British Constitution
  3. Passive-aggressive disorder
  4. Transubstantiate

And then there are the times when you are simply shitfaced, so a list of things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:

  1. Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
  2. Nope, no more booze for me.
  3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
  4. No kebab for me, thank you.
  5. Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
  6. I'm not interested in fighting you.
  7. Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
  8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero co-ordination.
  9. Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
  10. I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
  11. Look, it would be great to have a shag but I hardly know you and we will only feel really embarrassed and awkward in the morning.
  12. That guy is looking at my girlfriend but I am sure its just because he knows her or something.
  13. That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.
  14. I must get to my bed as I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge.
  15. I honestly don't think the rest of the city center wants to see my bare arse.
  16. are not my bestest mate in the whole world. I've only known you for a few hours.
  17. I'm sure those young women are extremely intelligent and have wonderful personalities.
  18. Im sure my feet would be damaged for life if I take my shoes off and walk all the way home.
  19. A creamy cocktail followed by 4 shots of tequila....surely that would be no good for my insides.
  20. Me? go for a pee in the mens room because the ladies queue is too long? I don't think so.
  21. I'll just have a big glass of water before I go to bed so I don't have a hangover in the morning.

Thanks you my pals, fang and eezie.


  1. Nice work. And so true. So, has it been a big one?

  2. You can say "Specificity" when not drinking? Imresssive!

  3. Hi Martha: It's been a great Christmas but nothing like "Martha and Alex's Big Night Out"! Despite working through it has been nice and two weeks to go until we are in Nelson for a wee break. Nice.
    Brena: Takes a few goes mind...

  4. LOL! Took me forever to learn to say "Transubstantiate" - Try saying that word again and again (Faster each time) it's like a tongue twister!

    How are things going with you?

  5. Eeek, my tongue is now wrapped around my head!

    I have neglected my blog owing to having too much fun bouncing on the jumpoline with Mrs R!

    Got lots to say, just no time to write it....